Sunday, September 20, 2009

Advice on Sanity and Balance

I got this from a weekly e-mail I receive from, a site a friend told me about. I'm sure everyone would feel strongly about one of these (and maybe disagree with one or two), but the first one is the key for me. I need to be alone sometimes - preferably alone in my own house, though that is especially hard to come by - and when I don't get that time, I get grouchy. I'm also in total agreement with the eat/energize/exercise mantra; when I'm doing all those things, I feel better, even if the circumstances around me remain frustrating. I'm liking this reminder for myself, for now, and for my girls, for "someday."

Seven things that are key to a moms' sanity and balance:

Be alone regularly : This is a must and there's really no arguing it. It's not selfish, it's utterly and completely necessary to your mental health. If 15 minutes of quiet time in the morning before the kids are up does it for you, then move heaven and earth and your sleep-laden body out of bed to get that time! Need 4 hours a week? Barter/beg/hire your way to rediscovering the quietness of your own thoughts. Yes, you still have them! You just can't hear them in the chatter of daily life. This is really non-negotiable.

Root yourself : Know who you are and what you believe. Stand up for it. Nurture it. Feed it, that fire in your belly.

Eat | Energize | Exercise : A not-so-simple trio, I know. All three center around mindfulness though, listening to your body and what it needs. Eat real food. Make your sleep a priority. Move in ways that make you feel free. Pay attention to how your body reacts, the patterns are there for the finding.

Accept your life : Ok, this is my total stumbling block right now. Sigh. Note to self: Accept where you're at, or you'll never change it. Fighting and fretting don't work. Let it be and find the good, make plans, look for opportunities, set sail but don't expect to see land yet. Find your faith.

Tend your passions : I was asked yesterday what one piece of advice I'd give to someone looking for coaching. What popped out was "Find the one thing you really love to do, and make sure you do it at least once a week." That pretty much sums it up. I need to make things (other than meals and beds) and must do it regularly. Not managed that much lately, and I'm really feeling it.

Have boundaries : Oh yes, that one. Saying no thanks. Setting realistic expectations. Sorry but our kids aren't allowed to have/do that. We draw the lines.

Enlist support : Leaving the hardest for last? Perhaps. Asking for help is extremely hard. Pride takes a hit, vulnerabilities get aired, we are admitting defeat. It's goodto ask. It makes us human, and weaves us together into something stronger than we were alone. Something beautiful, living, and yes, breathing.

Simple thoughts for not-so-simple lives. What would your "one piece of advice" be?

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Stephanie. I had forgotten about this website (sanemoms) and am happy to be back to it.