Showing posts with label Life List. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life List. Show all posts

Friday, July 12, 2013

Dream a Little Dream: Paris and Other Places

Two weeks ago tonight, Jason and I were fresh off a long flight home and mere hours into our abrupt return to normal after two weeks jaunting around Europe together. Both going there and coming home were their own little culture shocks, of course, and these past two weeks at home have been nothing - NOTHING - like the two weeks that preceded them.

Obviously.

They've been so much the opposite of a European vacation that I haven't been able to find the time to write about the European vacation. But I also, crazily, haven't wanted to put our trip into words because, in some sort of magical thinking, I felt as though, if I wrote about it, it'd really be over. (Note to self: it is over.) And I think I was avoiding writing about it for another reason, too: namely, who leaves their kids and takes a two-week trip to Europe for no real reason in their mid-thirties? Isn't that what you do when you're retired empty-nesters who join a bus tour of the Netherlands?

So I'm disoriented and nostalgic and a little sheepish, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. But even though I kept a little journal while we were gone (where we ate, what we saw, what we did, etc.), I want to collect a few memories here, too.

Here's the thing: back in January of 2011, I published a fun Life List on this blog, as a culmination of some of the ideas and goals I'd been toying with as I thought about which direction I wanted my life to take. Maybe this is a normal thing to do in your mid-thirties, maybe not, but somewhere along the line, I had the realization that there was not going to be an infinite amount of time. There might be a lot of years, sure, but there might not, and I became far more aware of how I used my time and far more intentional about going to those places and doing those things that had always been hazy "someday" dreams. (I've since accomplished a bunch of things on that list, some of which I crossed off and some of which I still need to cross off, and I actually hadn't looked at it in quite a while and may want to change it. For example, the six-minute mile is possibly no longer in reach. Which is fine. It's MY list. I can change it.)

One of those dreams( though it's not exactly on the list) was to return to Vienna, Austria with Jason. We'd both gone during a college summer program, though not the same summer, and on one long road trip to Baltimore when I was pregnant with Annie, we talked about how, someday, we'd establish a scholarship fund for the Vienna Summer School program and we'd go back together. A couple years ago, we started the fund, and last summer we started planning this trip. We hoped to go back while the same dear professor was still running the program, and we weren't sure how much longer he'd be doing it. We met him for dinner. We started reading travel blogs. We checked out books from the library. We talked to grandparents about child care. We hoarded credit card points for flights. Jason spent an inordinate amount of time on Google Earth. And I started dreaming about Paris, not because I'd taken French, or had friends tell me I had to go, or seen a specific movie, but just because I have always sort of felt like I'd be sad if I didn't go to Paris with Jason at some point in my life. Seize the day, and all that.

Well, we seized it. My Life List should be proud. There was spontaneous stopping to smell the roses in a beautiful garden in Vienna. There was a run through Luxembourg Gardens in the rain in Paris. There was a picnic in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. There was a hike through cows wearing cowbells and fields of wildflowers up to snow-capped mountain peaks (we snuck in a few days in Switzerland between the two cities). There were absurd meals followed by more absurd meals. There was ice cream and croissants and curried prawns and homemade pasta and fondue and gelato and veal and foie gras and croquettes and wine and lobster and cafe creme and cheese and olives and chocolate mousse and duck and champagne and pate and olive oil and truffle salt and caramels. (What I am saying is that we did not lose weight on this trip, despite the hiking and biking and walking miles every day through the cobblestone streets.)

We had so many wonderful moments, so many unforgettable experiences. We rode bikes along the Danube in the 90-degree heat and sunshine, then finally collapsed at a little Italian cafe and drank all the beverages. We hiked up and down gorgeous mountain paths, then drank Swiss beer on a balcony overlooking a waterfall. We celebrated our fourteenth anniversary with a meal just steps from our hotel, looking out at the garden where the salad lettuce had just been picked and watching the moon rise above the mountains. We spent a night with our old professor and this year's group of Vienna Summer School students, sat in on a fascinating lecture, and toasted the group with schnapps on a picnic table in the Austrian Alps. We got on a train in Vienna, went to sleep, and woke up the next morning in Switzerland. We had dinner at the same outdoor biergarten where Jason loved to go almost twenty years ago. We took the Metro to Montmarte and tried French microbrews at a tiny bar with a bartender named Francois. We saw the Mona Lisa, the Thinker, and so many Van Goghs and Monets and Renoirs and Cezannes that we could hardly keep track. We ate three meals at restaurants where you sat down and ate whatever they brought you (ahem, razor clams, pork rilette . . .), and one meal of incredible Spanish tapas at a standing-room-only zinc bar where the chef stood just a few feet away. We watched the sun set along the Seine.

We had two weeks to get up every morning, get out the map, and wander around a gorgeous city together - eating, drinking, talking, getting a little lost, being in awe of the architecture or the natural beauty, depending. We had two weeks to miss the girls fiercely and talk about how soon we could bring them back with us. We had two weeks to be outsiders, with Jason's poor French and our train schedules and indecipherable menus and streets that change names every few blocks.

We took over a thousand pictures. We took a nap almost every day. We took trains and wore backpacks. We took home striped shirts and baby gifts, chocolates and scarves. We took one last look at Paris as our plane rose high in the sky, and I knew that the planning, saving, worrying, and spending had been worth it. It was a literally a dream come true.

It's like a distant memory now, of course. After two weeks crammed into tiny train compartments and petite hotel rooms, our house felt huge. The girls welcomed us home with cake, hugs, and much smelling of faces and stroking of arms. We piled into our bed together, opened gifts, and read books in a pre-bedtime tangle of arms and legs that night two weeks ago, and it's been non-stop togetherness ever since. The quiet conversations at cafes and the leisurely 9:00 p.m. dinners are a thing of the past, and now it's piano practice and "Mom, look!" and settling arguments and chasing fireflies and bathing suits. Which is good, too, in its own way, but also louder. Less charming. More "real."

Tucked away, though, I'll always have this trip. This absurd, impractical, romantic, magical, dreamy trip. And I'm so very glad.














Sunday, January 1, 2012

2011 Year in Review: Yoga, Jamaica, and Balance

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Saw U2, Mega 80's, and Sara Barielles in concert. Took the girls to Great 
Wolf Lodge and Chicago overnight, the Nutcracker, and Jamaica.
Learned to make homemade marshmallows and dinner rolls. Published
two poems. Celebrated my dad's 65th birthday, our twelfth wedding
anniversary, the tenth girls' weekend, Annie's 7th birthday and Jemma's
5th birthday. Ran the Grand Rapids half marathon and became obsessed
with hot yoga. Sold a house. WatchedAnnie get her ears pierced. Spent
a weekend on Mackinac Island. Wore my wedding dress to
a party that was not my own wedding. Started getting allergy shots, 
and started some new Christmas traditions with our family.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Here's what I resolved a year ago:
1.  Kick the year off with a January detox - no alcohol, no red meat, very little "white" anything, lots of water and fresh fruits and vegetables for one month.  Did it! Loved it! Going to do it again this year!

2.  Find a meaningful way to "give back" and start doing it. Sadly, nope.
3.  Establish good systems to organize the things in my life that consistently 
overwhelm me:  photos, recipes, books, and kids' art.  Mostly yes: I started using Goodreads to track my books, have been much better about uploading and printing photos, and took a weekend to organize my recipes and make bins for the best kids' art.
4.  Complete and make public my Life List.  Check.
For 2012, I'm personally resolving to write daily, and possibly 
to work on a larger and more ambitious project than 
this blog. Our family is resolving to find some type of 
community service we can do together.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My friend Andrea had a new babe, and Chris and Sarah added a 
fourth child to their family, but I am having a hard time remembering
 many other birth announcements on our fridge this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Sadly, Jason's uncle John.
5. What countries did you visit?
Jamaica!
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I'm wishing lately for more clarity about what the next stage of my life 
is going to look like and I'm always wishing for more time to write.
I'd like more patience every year.
As far as material possessions, though? I'm crazy lucky.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I just wrote a few of them down here.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

For the first time since I've been doing this year-end review, I really 
feel like 2011 was the year where I found a good and healthy balance
between self, family, friends, work, play, and all the elements that
make up my life. 
9. What was your biggest failure?
I lost my temper with the kids more that I'd like to admit, and while 
there are days and moments when I feel great about the way I'm raising
my kids, there are also days and
moments when I feel sure I'm making one mistake after another. 
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major, thankfully.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
New fancy eye cream and lipgloss, a cool Eames walnut stool, piano 
lessons for Annie. the book The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, babysitting,
a week in paradise.
12. Where did most of your money go?
All the usual places, plus some extra to sell the old house, refinance 
this one, and pay off both cars.
13. What did you get really excited about?
I excitedly anticipated my annual girls' weekend, all the live music events 
we got to see this year, and a more meaningful and low-key holiday
season. I fell in love with yoga even more this year but still appreciate a 
good, hard run. I loved Tina Fey's book, Bossypants, and got sucked 
into Mad Men, too. It's embarrassing to admit, but I was awfully excited
about the new Anthropologie store opening just minutes from our house.
Going there with a cup of coffee feels like a little getaway.


14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Well, 2011 was the year our family got sucked into the Bieber Fever, 
but if I have to choose a specific song, it'd probably be Dog Days Are 
Over by Florence + The Machine, simply because I heard it performed
live the first time I encountered this strange and lovely artist
and because we've since danced to it in the kitchen many a time.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? You know, I think I'm a little happier.
– thinner or fatter? Same, same - but I can do more push-ups!
– richer or poorer? Richer.
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More silly play with my kids while they still want to do it with me, more
 writing, more generous reactions to difficult situations.
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Less yelling, less procrastinating, less getting worked up about things 
that aren't really important.
18. How did you spend Christmas?
We went up north to celebrate with Jason's family the weekend before, 
had a cozy Christmas Eve just the four of us, and went to my parents'
house in the afternoon on Christmas Day.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
Still loving Modern Family, and I'll note that the girls would probably 
say Wild Kratts.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Bossypants, Room, State of Wonder, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, 
Olive Kitteridge, Let the Great World Spin, The History of Love, 
The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, The Price of Motherhood, The Art of 
Fielding, Bittersweet, Salvage the Bones.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?

A friend made me a fun CD that brought me up to speed a little, full 
of Mumford and Sons, The Decemberists, and other assorted current
goodness.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
I really liked Crazy, Stupid, Love. I . . . barely can remember any other 
movies I saw this year.
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 34, Annie turned 7, and we went to brunch at Rose's after church.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ahhh, if I'm really reaching, perhaps children who listen on the first try?
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Trying to pull it together just the tiniest bit more than in years past.
26. What kept you sane?
These answers seem to be the same every year: friends, running, yoga, 
Jason, coffee, alcohol, writing, reading, an hour or so a day not speaking
to anyone. 
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I'm not feeling particularly wise right now, but I do think I got better
 about having honest (if difficult) conversations rather than avoiding
confrontations, and the honest approach turns out better every time.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Life List: Publish a Poem

Today I got an email that began like so:


Dear Stephanie,

We thoroughly enjoyed your poems “Her Hands” and “Cinderella,” which eloquently identify meaning in small flashes of quotidian life. I’m pleased to inform you that they will be published in the forthcoming Bear River Review.


They're pleased to inform me; I'm pleased to be informed:  everyone is pleased!

Neither has been previously published, though I did post "Cinderella" here shortly after I wrote it last June (scroll down; it's at the end of that post).  "Her Hands" is about my maternal grandmother.  She's no longer able to remember much, so I am glad that a little piece of her is going to be published for posterity.  I think I'll wait and link to it when the publication comes out.  

Also:  TWO poems!  Take that, Life List!



Friday, March 4, 2011

Life List: Flossing My Teeth

I was feeling blue the other day and decided that, it being March (!) now, I needed a project.  Only with the piles of snow still sitting around outside (and the cold rain today), it doesn't quite feel like spring cleaning time yet.

So then I thought I should peek at my Life List and choose something to work towards.  Only everything on it seemed so . . . BIG.  And complicated.  And expensive.  (Household financial review in progress here, is what I'm saying, and fun items like getting a new DSLR and learning photography, say, or drinking wine in Napa, for example, were definitely out of the question.)

Still.  I needed a project, so I chose the easiest, cheapest, more basic thing off my list and decided that March of 2011 will be The Month of Daily Flossing.  My whole life, I've avoided flossing - never did it growing up, never acquired the habit as an adult - but here I am, four days in, and so far, so good.

Join me if you want.  My dentist will be so proud.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Life List


I first spied someone's honest-to-goodness life list on The Internet a few years ago and was immediately intrigued, though I never felt like I had time to sit down and let myself imagine all the things I would put on my own.  But in October of 2009, when Jason and I went to Hawaii, I used some of the (very long) flight to brainstorm ideas, a few of which I've already accomplished.  And then a few weeks ago, when we were stuck in Quebec for two extra days, I had the same journal with me and got it out to work on the list.  Yesterday, I sat in bed for an hour and finished it up, though I'm not sure a list like this is ever "finished," since it's really a work-in-progress.  The first day of 2011 seems like as auspicious a time as any to write it all down here, in one place, for the world to see, and dream a little dream about which things I'll tackle this year.


Take tennis lessons.  Make an entire Thanksgiving dinner for a big crowd.  Create a family cookbook.  Take my parents on a trip.  Go to a writer's retreat.  Go whale-watching in Hawaii.  Wear a big hat at the Kentucky Derby with my girlfriends.  Take a girls’ spa trip to Arizona.  Create a system to track all the books I read.  Publish a book review.  Earn my yoga teacher certification.  Learn to make bread.  Ski at Aspen.  Knit a hat.  Learn to ride clipped-in on a road bike.  See the sunrise from the tip of Maine.  Read the complete works of Shakespeare.  Drink beer in Bruges.  Sit in the front row at a concert.  Live in an apartment in Paris.  Become (re-)fluent in Spanish and conversational in French.  Write a book.  Take an architectural tour of Chicago.  Throw a surprise party.  Give away a large sum of money anonymously.  Swim one mile.  Make a soufflĂ©.  Try caviar, foie gras, and truffles.  See a play on Broadway.  Take a photography class.  Sleep outside under the stars.  Eat at a three-star French restaurant.  Go fly-fishing in a huge river out west.  Take a literary tour of London.  Take the girls to Disney.  Publish a magazine article.  Run another marathon, possibly with Annie or Jemma.  Go to NYC with Jason, and have a picnic in Central Park.  Celebrate the summer solstice.  Drink wine in Napa Valley.  Learn to make my mom’s seafoam.  Do a yoga headstand.  Buy a cottage.  Go to church in Rome.  Make Martha Stewart’s croquembouche.  Ride in a gondola in Venice.  Establish a scholarship fund.  Build or buy a house with my dream bedroom (fireplace and view of water).  Participate in a flashmob.  Choose and learn to make a signature cocktail.  Teach my children how to cook.  Institute one-day-a-week “sabbath” from technology.  Make a quilt of Annie and Jemma’s baby clothes.  See Africa.  Take a road trip across the USA in an RV.  Stay in a thatched bungalow on stilts over the water with Jason.  Try tai chi.  Take the girls camping.  Run a six-minute mile.  Research my genealogy in The Netherlands.  Hike part of the Appalachian Trail.  Drink a pint of Guinness in Ireland.  Take a ballet class.  Floss my teeth daily for one month.  Dance the waltz with Jason in Vienna.  Learn to make my own pasta.  Learn to compost.  Do a race event for charity.  Do a triathlon.  Buy an expensive piece of art for our house.  Teach an adult to read.  Drive a convertible down Highway 1.  Leave a ridiculously generous tip.  Throw sweet sixteen parties for both girls.  Earn a master’s degree.  Publish a poem.